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January 11, 1999

The Top 9 Signs You've Gotten a Bad Hotel Room


    1. The guy at the front desk stares at your chest and asks if you could "sleep facing the clown painting."

    2. They don't take American Express, but will consider stereos, VCR's or jewelry.

    3. At check-in, the clerk informs you that all of the "Non-Infested" rooms are taken.

    4. "Room service" nothing more than a can of Spam and a bottle of Ripple in a brown paper bag.

    5. "Marv Albert wuz here" chewed into headboard.

    6. Room service answers, "This better be good, Jerry Springer's on."

    7. A second look at the sign out front reveals you're at "Howard's Johnson."

    8. Sign out front says, "WELCOME, NAMBLA CONVENTION"

      and the Number 1 Sign You've Gotten a Bad Hotel Room...

    9. "Indian Graveyard Inn" even sounds like a bad idea.



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Selected from 122 submissions from 43 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Rich Taylor, Arlington, VA -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!) Email
  • JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA -- 2
  • Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT -- 3 Email
  • Zach Garland, Dallas, TX -- 4 (Welcome back!)
  • Martell Stroup, Boston, MA -- 5 Email
  • Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 6 Email
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 8
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 9 Email / Website
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag, Topic Email
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Runner Up List Name Email / Website
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Honorable Mention List Name Email
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Martha Davis, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience

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