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Now with new Humor Crystals!
January 12, 1999
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Salt Lake City, Utah, chosen to host the 2002 Winter Olympics,
allegedly did more than a little vote-buying in order to enhance
its chances, providing International Olympic Committee members with
college tuition money for their kids and female "escorts" for themselves.
IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch has
promised to get to the bottom of the scandal.
The Top 9 Signs Your City
Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site
- IOC members seem unconcerned over scheduling conflicts due to the yachting, diving and swimming events all being held in the 34th Street YMCA pool.
- All 75 of the new hires in the mayor's office are named either Ingrid or Sven.
- After Philadelphia lands the Summer Games, Juan Antonio Samaranch sports a hood ornament that looks strangely like the Liberty Bell.
- Only someone bribed with hookers and college tuition wouldn't think the term "New York City Hospitality Committee" is an oxymoron.
- Karl Malone is now playing forward for the Utah Samaranches.
- T-shirt for sale in the hotel lobby: "My dad went to Salt Lake City, and all I got was this T-shirt and college tuition."
- "Miss Salt Lake" for 1999 requires a translator to deliver her coronation speech.
- New Olympic mascots: Vinny and Knuckles.
and the Number 1 Sign Your City Used Bribes to Become an Olympic Site...
- The IOC suddenly decides to change the official cycling uniforms to white shirts and ties.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
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Selected from 89 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 1 (15th #1)
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 2 Email / Website
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 3 Email / Website
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 4 Email
- Patrick Douglas Crispen, Univ of Alabama -- 5 Email / Website
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 6 Email / Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 7
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 9 Email
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Runner Up list name Email
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Pink Floyd, London, England -- Ambience
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