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TopFive.com
Where the World Gets Its News!

January 13, 1999

The Top 9 Signs Your Significant
Other is an Agent Of Satan
(Part I)


    1. Constantly doing aerobics to "Sweatin' To The Eternal Fires of Damnation" video.

    2. His two big accomplishments of 1998? Signing John Tesh to a 6-record contract and green-lighting 3 Adam Sandler films.

    3. C'mon -- do you really think *God* would find a partner for a loser like you?

    4. Brimstone and fire and the smell of sulfur every night, even when he hasn't had Taco Bell.

    5. You: Gorgeous Blond Supermodel Him: Geeky Dark-Haired Purveyor of Card Tricks

    6. Has never once had to reboot his Windows 98 system.

    7. Claims she got that "Roast Suckling Child" recipe by watching Martha Stewart.

    8. Lovemaking always results in charred genitalia.

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Significant Other is an Agent Of Satan...

    9. Uses a toaster to keep the bathwater hot.



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Selected from 102 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN -- 1 (18th #1) Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 2, 7 Email
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 3 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 4
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 5
  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 6, 8 Email
  • Duncan Carling, San Francisco, CA -- 8 Email
  • Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT -- 8 Email
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 9, Runner Up list name Email / Website
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Topic Email
  • David Kass, Queens, NY -- Banner Tag
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Honorable Mention list name Email
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Robert Johnson, Hazlehurst, MS -- Ambience

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