Dead man walking!
January 19, 1999
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Tonight is a big moment in American politics, my dear readers.
President Clinton will give his annual State of the Union address,
speaking in front of many of the very same people who are
trying so desperately to throw him out of office.
Of course, Top5 was wondering just what the Pres might say...
The Top 15 Rejected State of the Union Speech Opening Lines
- "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But first, a few words from my husband..."
- "Okay, I shagged her. I shagged her rotten, baby!"
- "Immediately after my speech, you are all cordially invited to come up here and kiss my pasty white ass."
- "Members of Congress, I feel you're a pain."
- "Are you impeachin' me? Are you impeachin' me? You gotta be impeachin' me cuz I'm the only President standin' here."
- "I don't think anyone can deny that this past year has made a vas deferens in the face of politics.."
- "Any of y'all got that Gwyneth Paltrow gal's phone number?"
- "This meeting of The Duplicitous Serial Adulterers will now come to order. Ha, ha! Just kidding, people."
- "Look at it, people! Take a good look! You got a tool like this, you use it -- know what I'm sayin'?"
- "Acquit me, or the stock market gets it."
- "I have not had sexual relations with anyone in this chamber. But seriously, folks..."
- "(Psssst! Al! Fourth row, third from the left -- you can see right up her skirt!)"
- "First, I'd like to introduce my new Attorney General, Alec Baldwin."
- "Whoa! I've been sleepwalking the last three years! I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing!"
and the Number 1 Rejected State of the Union Speech Opening Line...
- "I'm not under oath, am I?"
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
|
Selected from 119 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1, Runner Up list name (15th #1) Email / Website
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 2 Email
- Craig Stacey, Lisle, IL -- 3 Email / Website
- Gerard McDonald, New Haven, CT -- 4
- Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI -- 5 Email
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 6 Email / Website
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 7 Email
- Martell Stroup, Boston, MA -- 8, 13 Email
- Jason Anthoine, Alpharetta, GA -- 9, Banner Tag
- Matt Siske, Dayton, OH -- 10
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 11, Honorable Mention list name Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 14 Email / Website
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 15 Email
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- Topic Email
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Duran Duran, London, England -- Ambience
|
