TopFive
  Index
  About Us

  Previous Lists
  Greatest Hits
  Hall of Fame

  You Really Like Us!

  Store    Privacy
  Links!   Contact

Top 5 List RSS feed
What' s this?
Members Only
  ClubTop5
Subscribe

  Top5/ClubTop5

  Little Fivers
Sponsored Links

Natural remedies
for people & pets

Long Lost Friends:
Used/Rare Books

The Bible Online
This site hosted by Dreamhost.com

TopFive.com
Pass the peanut brittle, please.

January 25, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Well, it looks like professional basketball is back in business here
in the U.S.A. A new labor contract between the owners and the players
was signed in time for a shortened schedule to be played.

Top5 looks into its crystal ball to see what the season holds...

The Top 9 Predictions for the Shortened NBA Season


    1. To make up for 30% fewer games, players compensate fans with 30% more crotch scratching.

    2. Beer now $150,000 a pop.

    3. New "NBA Star for a Month" promo allows lucky spectators to smoke pot, fire guns and speed without legal consequences.

    4. 50-game regular season will almost be as exciting as the 339-game playoffs.

    5. Old slogan: "It's Fan-tastic!" New slogan: "It's Moneybag-nificent!"

    6. To help recoup lost income, Laker Girls will add lap dancing to their repertoire.

    7. Jazz upsets Pacers in finals by a score of H-O-R-S to H-O-R-S-E.

    8. Thanks to some tricky wording overlooked by players' union, Patrick Ewing must wear a "celery cap" during every game.

      and the Number 1 Prediction for the Shortened NBA Season...

    9. In an attempt fill vacant seats in arenas nationwide, local offspring of Shawn Kemp admitted free.



Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.

Join today!






Selected from 81 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 1 (13th #1) Email / Hall of Famer
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 2, 5, Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
  • Rich Taylor, Arlington, VA -- 3, 7 Email
  • Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL -- 4
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC -- 6 Email
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 6, Topic Email
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 8 Email / Website
  • Brian Berry, Napoleon, OH -- 8 Email
  • Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI -- 9 Email
  • Brian Auten, Tecumseh, MI -- Banner Tag
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Runner Up list name Email
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Randy Newman, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience

Top5 Bomb
© Copyright 1994-2010.  All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.