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TopFive.com
Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish.
June 16, 2000


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

Nearly three years ago, we did a list which we called
The Top 15 Chinese Translations of English Movie Titles.
It eventually became one of the most important lists
in TopFive history, after the NY Times assumed our
twisted titles were real and ran a story about them.

In the meantime, we thought it would be interesting to
revisit that topic and see what happens *this* time...


The Top 20 Chinese Translations of English Movie Titles
(Part II)


    1. "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" -- "Subversive Capitalist Children Need to Learn Discipline in Red Army"

    2. "Big Momma's House" -- "Black Man Dresses as Funny Fat Person, Yet Eddie Murphy is in a Different Theater!"

    3. "Rush Hour" -- "Jackie Chan Not the Only Star Requiring Subtitles"

    4. "Pokemon: The First Movie" -- "Japanese Monkeys With Typewriters Prove American Parents Will Buy Anything to Silence Children"

    5. "Being John Malkovich" -- "Tiny People In My Brain, Stop Watching Me Urinate!!!"

    6. "Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace" -- "Who Is Annoying Frog/Rabbit? Hand Me My Light-Sabre!"

    7. "Ready To Rumble" -- "What Wrong With You? Don't Encourage Mr. David Arquette!!!"

    8. "Stuart Little" -- "In America, People Happy to Live With Rats"

    9. "Patch Adams" -- "Ha! Your Advance-Stage Cancer Amuses Me!"

    10. "American Pie" -- "Why it is Advisable to Ban the Importation of American Baked Goods"

    11. "The Blair Witch Project" -- "I Have Camcorder! Give Me 100 Million Dollars!"

    12. "Life Is Beautiful" -- "Nazi Concentration Camps Are Fun for Whole Family!"

    13. "Boogie Nights" -- "Oh My Chairman! Is That Thing REAL?!?"

    14. "Fight Club" -- "Hello, Friend Who I Am Pleased to Have in My Association. NOW YOU MUST DIE BY MY FISTS!"

    15. "The Thomas Crown Affair" -- "Forget plot! Watch for See-through Dress!"

    16. "The Sixth Sense" -- "I Am Dead But I Must Still Go To Work!"

    17. "Jaws" -- "Yum! Shark Fin Soup for Everyone!"

    18. "American Beauty" -- "I Need Underage Neighbor Like I Need Hole in Head!"

    19. "Pulp Fiction" -- "Hey! I Killed You Three Scenes Ago!"

      and the Number 1 Chinese Translation of an English Movie Title...

    20. "There's Something About Mary" -- "Consider Button-Fly Pants Next Time, Stupid Capitalist!"



Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.

Join today!






Selected from 148 submissions from 51 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 1 (15th #1) Hall of Famer
  • Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 2, 15 Email
  • Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 3, 12 Email
  • Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 4 Email
  • Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA -- 5
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 6, Banner Tag Email
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 7, 12 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Lisa Lavoie, Waltham, MA -- 8 Email
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 9, 11, Topic Email
  • Jesse Weiss, St. Paul, MN -- 9 Website
  • Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA -- 10
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13 Email
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 13
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 14 Website
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 16 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 17 Email
  • Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 18 Email / Website
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 19 Email
  • Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 20
  • Jeff Rabinowitz, Denver, CO -- Topic Email
  • Steven Bevier, Redwood City, CA -- Runner Up list name
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Philip Bailey, Denver, CO -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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