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Contains less than 10% of ingredients not listed.
September 15, 1998
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
The Moderator Du Jour is Larry Hollister, a contributor to Top5
for almost a year now. Formerly a professional rock keyboardist,
Larry eventually tired of dodging fruit and heaving TV sets out of
hotel windows, and now works in software quality assurance.
The Top 12 Stupid FDA Warning Labels
- Cell phones: "Phone should always be in the *off* position before being lodged up your ass by the angry motorist you just rear-ended."
- Jaegermeister: "What can you possibly be thinking?"
- Viagra: "Just remember, chump, you're STILL fat, bald and ugly!"
- The Clapper: "Use of this product near a construction site is not recommended."
- Pineapple: "Not to be inserted rectally. No, seriously, not a good idea."
- Rogaine: "Excessive use may result in a career as a boxing promoter."
- Zima: "Merely holding this bottle is obliterating your already-remote prospects of getting laid."
- Raquel Welch: "Contents may have settled."
- Windows95: "May cause unpredictable behavior and loss or corruption of d$@@NQ t!"z +~]]J; ***FATAL EX&~d"
- Whitman Sampler: "Caution - you never know what you're gonna git"
- El Presidente Cigars: "Should only be enjoyed orally."
and Top5's Number 1 Stupid FDA Warning Label...
- Prozac: "Whatever"
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 104 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 1 (11th #1) Email / Website
- Peter Casper, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia -- 2
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 2 Email
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- 2
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 3 Email
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 4 Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Paul Paternoster, Los Altos Hills, CA -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 8
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 9, Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 10
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 11
- Martell Stroup, Boston, MA -- 12 Email
- Matt Siske, Dayton, OH -- Banner Tag
- Ken Mitteldorf, Nashville, TN -- Topic
- Tipper Gore, Washington, DC -- Ambience
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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