TopFive
  Index
  About Us

  Previous Lists
  Greatest Hits
  Hall of Fame

  You Really Like Us!

  Store    Privacy
  Links!   Contact

Top 5 List RSS feed
What' s this?
Members Only
  ClubTop5
Subscribe

  Top5/ClubTop5

  Little Fivers
Sponsored Links

Natural remedies
for people & pets

Long Lost Friends:
Used/Rare Books

The Bible Online
This site hosted by Dreamhost.com

TopFive.com
99 and 44/100% Pure Crap

September 18, 1998

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Top5 would like to welcome a batch of rookie contributors, who qualified
for the distinction by performing all sorts of mental gymnastics while
under extreme pressure. The newbies are:

Jason Anthoine, Alpharetta, GA
Ann Bartow, Dayton, OH
Jennifer Ford, Fort Wayne, ID
Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA
Tim McKemy, Chandler, AZ
Rich Taylor, Arlington, VA

Guest moderator Jeff Downey has been a Top5 contributor since June, 1996.
When not writing software Jeff, along with Ken Starr, likes to widen his probe.

The Top 12 Signs Your Mother is a Spice Girl


    1. Breast feeding usually accompanied by Daddy’s cruel "spice rack" jokes.

    2. Three days at St. Thomas School For Boys and the "girl power" crap gets a little old.

    3. Mum insists you’re to blame for her new career as Postpartum Spice.

    4. Another visit from the tooth fairy, another stupid "Spiceworld" video.

    5. Snack time consists of "that" ale and "those" snaps.

    6. Favorite bedtime book: "How To Stick It To Elitist Music Critics With Profoundly Annoying But Insanely Profitable Claptrap"

    7. She always really, really wants you to clean your room.

    8. All her friends are now called Baby Sitter Spice.

    9. Your favorite nursery rhyme? The one about Ginger burning in hell.

    10. Daddy can't resist kicking South Americans.

    11. She pouts more than you do.

      and the Number 1 Signs Your Mother is a Spice Girl...

    12. Unless that paternity test pans out, looks like you'll be "Bastard Spice."



Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.

Join today!






Selected from 85 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA -- 1 (10th #1)
  • Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 2, 11 Email
  • Rich Taylor, Arlington, VA -- 3, 8 Email
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4, Runner Up list name Email / Website
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 5
  • Paul Paternoster, Los Altos Hills, CA -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 6, 7
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 9 Email
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Jason Anthoine, Alpharetta, GA -- 11
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 12 Email / Website
  • Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT -- 12 Email
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic Email
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- Banner Tag Email / Hall of Famer
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- Banner Tag Email
  • Eric Foster, Altamonte Springs, FL -- Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Milano, Italy -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • Paul Simon, New York, NY -- Ambience

Top5 Bomb
© Copyright 1994-2010.  All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.