Garcon! Un croissant, s'il vous plait!
September 21, 1998
The Top 12 Changes in the New, Mature Madonna
- "Like a virgin?" Yeah, right. How 'bout "Like ten pounds off my lard ass?"
- "Shanghai Surprise" now the name of her entry in the Pillsbury Bake-Off.
- Stopped ordering unwanted pizzas to Janet Jackson's home.
- Now only stalked by Danny from the Diaper Service.
- Old book: "Sex" New book: "Tupperware"
- Much easier for paparazzi to follow a mini-van going 16mph with a stuck turn signal.
- When she appears on talk shows and swears like a construction worker, she now adds, "Pardon my f**kin' French."
- Spends less time trying to defy critics, more time trying to defy gravity.
- Hasn't yet slept with new personal trainer, Richard Simmons.
- Out: Warren Beatty In: Ned Beatty
- Wears new 18-Hour Underwire Cone Nursing Bra with Child Safety Caps.
and the Number 1 Change in the New, Mature Madonna...
- The Christian Coalition has downgraded her from "Dangerous Slut" to "Has a Good Beat."
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Selected from 115 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- 1 (3rd #1)
- Jay Allen, Long Beach, CA -- 2 Email / Website
- Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- 2 Email / Website
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 2 Email
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 2 Email
- Michelle Burke, San Francisco, CA -- 2, 9
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 3
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 4 Email / Hall of Famer
- Martell Stroup, Boston, MA -- 5 Email
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 6
- Craig Stacey, Lisle, IL -- 6 Email / Website
- Fred Hesby, Portland, OR -- 7 Email / Website
- Lisa Oliver, London, England -- 8
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA -- 10 Email / Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 11
- Jason Anthoine, Alpharetta, GA -- 12
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- Topic Email / Website
- Paul McCartney, Liverpool, England -- Ambience
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