|
|
Ripping off David Letterman since 1994
September 24, 1998
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's guest moderator is Peter Bauer, who edits computer training manuals
in real life, and who claims being a Top 5 contributor as "his life's
highlight" (pretty pathetic when you think about it). Peter would like
to tell all the teachers he's ever had who told him to quit clowning around:
"Nyahh nyahhh nyahhhhh!" He'd like to, but he can't write.
The Top 12 Accidental Foreign Language Screw-Ups Made by Chris White While Vacationing in Europe
- "May I borrow your pencil?" --
"Where might I get a penicillin shot?"
- "Do you think I should grab a taxi or take the walking tour?" --
"Shall I pleasure myself in front of you or become a prostitute?"
- "This food is OK, but do you guys have Pizza Hut?" --
"Please beat me senseless with a rolling pin."
- "As Top 5 List editor, beautiful women visit my room each night." --
"I download pornography."
- "I need to sit down and rest in the piazza." --
"I want to wash my butt off in your fountain."
- "Two lumps, please." --
"I have a birthmark shaped like Donnie Osmond's tricycle."
- "This beautiful scenery is like a picture postcard!" --
"I'll bet that some of you are war criminals!"
- "I would like the cheese platter." --
"The odor of limburger is emanating from your pores."
- "This museum is very beautiful." --
"There is much priceless artwork in my pants."
- "I manage an Internet top five humor list!" --
"I rank #1 on Interpol's top five felons list!"
- "The Leaning Tower of Pisa seems to be falling before our eyes!" --
"Look! Your virile manly tower is diminishing!"
and the Number 1 Accidental Foreign Language Screw-Up Made by Chris White While Vacationing in Europe...
- "I am enchanted with your country's beauty, and hope to come back next summer." --
"You have the buttocks of a Brontosaurus and obviously bathe only once a year."
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
|
Selected from 96 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1, 10, 11, Runner Up list name (12 #1 / Hat trick!) Email / Website
- Michelle Burke, San Francisco, CA -- 2
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- 3, Banner Tag
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 4 Email
- Tom Louderback, Boston, MA -- 5 Email
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA -- 6
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 7
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 8 Email
- Tim McKemy, Chandler, AZ -- 9 Email (Rookie!)
- Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI -- 12 Email
- Peter "Flick" Bauer, Rochester, NY -- Guest moderator
- Chris-Luc Godard, Nantes, France -- List owner/editor
- Bob Dylan, Greenwich Village, NY -- Ambience
|
|
|
|
|
|
© Copyright 1994-2010. All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
|
|
|
