Smell that? That's good comedy.
September 29, 1998
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
In case you're wondering, there was no list yesterday, as most of
the Top5 contributors were competing in the World Rugby Championships,
held as always in Lincoln, Nebraska.
The Top 14 Proposed New Commandments
- Thou Shalt Exit The Elevator Before Passing Gas.
- Thou Shalt Get Jiggy Wid' It.
- Thou Shalt Not Corvette Thy Neighbor's Wife.
- Thou Shalt Not Play "the Electric Slide" Or "the Chicken Song" At Wedding Receptions.
- Honor Thy Foster Parents, Egg Donor, Adoptive Father, Daycare Provider, Big Brother/Sister, Probation Officer...
- Thou Shalt Not Make Little Quotation Marks With Your Fingers While Speaking.
- Thou Shalt Denote Church Rank With A Series Of Sillier And Sillier Hats.
- Thou Shalt Not Encourage Prop Comedians.
- Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife, Unless She Weareth A Skimpy Little Skirt Like Ally Mcbeal.
- Honor Thy Stepfather, Though He Be A Dick.
- Thou Shalt Not Knowingly Engange In Or Cause Contact With The Genitalia, Breasts, Anus, Upper Thighs, Or Buttocks Of Your Neighbor's Wife.
- Thou Shalt Not Wrap Thy Lumpy Ass In Spandex.
- Thou Shalt Love The Notorious G.o.d. With All Thy Heart, With All Thy Soul, With All Thy Might. That's What I Am Talking About.
and the Number 1 Proposed New Commandment...
- Thou Shalt Not Covet Linda Tripp. Not That I Expect This To Be Much Of A Problem.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 130 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Ann Bartow, Dayton, OH -- 1 (1st #1!)
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 2 Email / Website
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA -- 3
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 4 Email / Hall of Famer
- JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA -- 4
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 4
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 4 Email
- Tim McKemy, Chandler, AZ -- 4 Email
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 4, 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 4, Banner Tag
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4, Runners Up list name Email / Website
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 6
- Rich Taylor, Arlington, VA -- 7 Email
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- 8, Topic
- Matt Chaput, Calgary, Alberta, Canada -- 9 Email
- Dave George, Arlington, VA -- 10
- Andy Wagner, Madison, WI -- 10
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 13 Email
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 14 Email / Website
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Topic Email
- Chris White, Amsterdam, Holland -- List owner/editor
- Fastball, Austin, TX -- Ambience
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