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Like a Good Times virus of infectious laughs!
October 6, 1998
The Top 13 Signs Your Hollywood Career is Over
(Part II)
- Screen Actors Guild refuses to pay you scale for your time as *suspect* in a COPS episode.
- During your big death scene in "Saving Private Ryan," Spielberg insisted on using live ammo.
- This time around, you're ass is too big to fit on the casting couch.
- In the middle of an audition the director shouts, "Who is this has-been, get me Gary Coleman!"
- You chose to leave Entertainment Tonight to concentrate on your career as a serious musician.
- During your audition for "Walker, Texas Ranger" Chuck Norris calls you a "hack."
- The words "Magic Hour" appear repeatedly on your resume.
- Your foursome partners in the celebrity tournament? Gabe Kaplan, Gavin McCloud and Abe Vigoda.
- Your agent looks like Huggy Bear and your latest "role" is the naughty nurse in "Candy Strippers."
- Your once-perky breasts now double as an attractive stole.
- Even Larry King has stopped kissing your ass.
- You're no longer "over the title", but under the caterer.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Hollywood Career is Over...
- Your co-star is large, hairy, stupid and drools. Tom Arnold? No, a St.Bernard.
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Selected from 131 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 1 (9th #1) Email
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 3 Email
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 4
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- 4, Banner Tag
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 5 Email / Website
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 5, 8 Email
- Lisa Oliver, London, England -- 6 Email
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 7, Runner Up list name Email / Website
- JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA -- 9
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- Andy Wagner, Madison, WI -- 11
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 12 Email / Website
- Martell Stroup, Boston, MA -- 13 Email
- Buck Joyce, whereabouts unknown -- Topic
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Rick Springfield, General Hospital -- Ambience
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