Not for use as a suppository.
October 15, 1998
The Top 12 Differences Between the
New $20 Bill and the Old $20 Bill
- Andrew Jackson wearing a single glove and accompanied by his sister, Latoya.
- Special counterfeit-proof "watermark" contains actual sample of Alan Greenspan's DNA.
- Look, it's rip-proof! Oh, shit...
- Radically improved scratch-n-sniff technology allows holder of bill to smell the rotting corpse of Andrew Jackson.
- WooHoo! The new one is 2-ply!!
- Thanks to new "StripperStick" coating, they adhere directly to the skin of exotic dancers.
- New $20: Tiny watermark depicting Joe Q. Taxpayer taking it in the ass again.
- Federal Reserve referred to as "The Notorious F.E.D."
- To deter counterfeiters, all new bills feature a watermark of a naked Janet Reno.
- Less smoke and new, springtime fresh aroma when used to heat Bill Gates's home.
- Old bill: Produced by U.S. Treasury. New bill: Produced by Sean "Puffy" Combs.
and the Number 1 Difference Between the New $20 Bill and the Old $20 Bill...
- It's 30% twentier!
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Selected from 118 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 1 (1st #1!) Email
- Rich Taylor, Arlington, VA -- 2 Email
- Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY -- 3 Email
- Dave George, Arlington, VA -- 3, 10
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 4 Email
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 5 Email / Website
- Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI -- 6 Email
- Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY -- 7 Email
- Jim Key, Garland, TX -- 8
- Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT -- 9 Email
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 11 Email
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 11 Hall of Famer
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 12
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA -- Topic
- Marshal Perlman, Minneapolis, MN -- Topic Email / Website
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Pink Floyd, London, England -- Ambience
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