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Friends don't let friends watch "Friends."
October 23, 1998
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
United States Senator John Glenn,
who was one of the original group of NASA astronauts,
is about to go back into orbit again at the age of 77.
The Top 13 Surprises During John Glenn's Space Mission
- New automatic shut-off on turn signals prevents endless embarrassment.
- Constant "Who's better -- Pearl Jam or Glenn Miller?" fights.
- "Ask Me About My Grandchildren" sticker mysteriously appears on shuttle exterior after Senator Glenn's spacewalk.
- Space suit re-cut to accomodate prostate swollen to grapefruit size in zero-G conditions.
- Constantly looking at Earth from window and remarking, "Now *that* didn't used to be there."
- "Help! I've fallen, and I can't get down!"
- Game of "Which Golden Girl Wouldn't You Kick Out Of Bed?" decidely less fun for some astronauts than others.
- In space, no one can detect old man smell.
- After taking Viagra in a zero-gravity environment, the orbiting Glenn can clearly be seen from Earth without the use of a telescope.
- While others are on a space-walk, a confused Glenn yells out the window: "You damn kids stay outta my yard!"
- Location of Senator Glenn's space suit belt raised to just below the arm pits.
- Friggin' Vicks VapoRub stinks up the cabin for days.
and the Number 1 Surprise During John Glenn's Space Mission...
- Metamucil-powered "organic emergency boosters" are activated by pulling the Senator's finger.
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Selected from 150 submissions from 55 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 1, 6 (12th #1)
- Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI -- 1, 8 (2nd #1) Email / Website
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA -- 3 Email / Hall of Famer
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 4 Email
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 5 Email
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 7 Email / Website
- Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- 9 Email / Website
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 10 Email
- Paul Paternoster, Los Altos Hills, CA -- 10, Topic Email / Hall of Famer
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA -- 11
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA -- 12 Email / Website
- Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI -- 13 Email
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 13 Email
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC -- 13 Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Steve Miller, Dallas, TX -- Ambience
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