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"Judge Starr, that depends on your definition of 'five.'"
October 26, 1998
The Top 13 Terms of the New Mideast Peace Deal
- Arafat must return all $7.6 million of misrouted royalties intended for Ringo Starr.
- In exchange for West Bank, Palestinians must take Fran Drescher.
- Death threats on authors of those infuriating "Magic Eye" books lifted.
- Jewish Homeland relocated to South Florida.
- Straight-up trade, Jackie Mason for Casey Kasem.
- Israel must make cable space available for new variety show, "Shiite Tonight!"
- Everyone in Israel to get a personally autographed "Chia Yasser."
- No more jokes about the five o'clock shadow on Arafat's mom.
- In case of renewed fighting, Clinton guaranteed a room at the Gaza Hilton until Hillary cools down.
- Less rocks, more talk!!
- Circumcised Palestinians free to roam Jerusalem.
- Center Square: Whoopi's out, Yasser's in.
and the Number 1 Term of the New Mideast Peace Deal...
- Main objective in Palestinian charter changed from "destruction of Israel" to "World Cup champs by 2014."
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Selected from 91 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- David Bryant, Columbia, MD -- 1 (2nd #1) Email
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 2 Email / Website
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 3 Email
- Dave George, Arlington, VA -- 4
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 6 Email
- Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- 7, Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 8
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 9, Topic
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 10 Email
- Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT -- 11 Email
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY -- 12 Email
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 13 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- John Lennon, whereabouts unknown -- Ambience
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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