Hot like wasabi when we bust a rhyme!
October 30, 1998
The Top 13 Reasons You Won't
Win the Halloween Costume Contest
(Part I)
- The Bride of Frankenstein had big, pointy hair and a small, round ass, not the other way around.
- 'Cause you should know that wearing a white sheet in Atlanta could only lead to getting your ass whupped, Homeboy.
- Your "Naked Linda Tripp" costume is actually more nauseating than scary.
- Your "Yanni" costume got you beat up on the way to the party -- four times.
- Your Dirk Diggler costume is merely embarrassing now that your "Diggler" is stuck in your car door.
- Your beret falls off every time you kneel.
- Yellow Homer Simpson makeup? Check.
Can of Homer Simpson "Duff Beer"? Check.
Homer Simpson pants? DOH!!!!
- No one can tell whether you came as Abe Vigoda or Marge Schott.
- This year's guest judge, Elizabeth Dole, has apparently never even *heard* of Marilyn Manson.
- Much to your surprise, three other people came dressed as Nikola Tesla, father of alternating current.
- The judges wrongly interpreted your "Liposuction By-product" costume as a "Bowl of Tapioca Pudding" costume.
- The only song you knew to go with the costume was "Mammy," and the judges at the NAACP party were *not* impressed.
and the Number 1 Reason You Won't Win the Halloween Costume Contest...
- Nobody likes a farting clown.
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Selected from 118 submissions from 43 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jason Anthoine, Alpharetta, GA -- 1, 12 (1st #1!)
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 2 Email / Website
- Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 3, 11 Email
- Jon Litfin, Columbus, OH -- 4, 7 Email
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC -- 5 Email
- Sue Prifogle Otte, Rushville, IN -- 6, 8 Email
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 7, Topic Email
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 9 Email
- M.J. Finan, Cleveland, OH -- 9 Email
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 10
- Ann Bartow, Dayton, OH -- 11
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 12
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 13 Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name Email
- Barenaked Ladies, Toronto, Canada -- Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- KISS, Long Island, NY -- Ambience
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