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TopFive.com
A breakfast burrito for your mind.

November 3, 1998

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
FOR THE CULTURALLY IMPAIRED: "CHiPs" was a TV series back in the
late 70s about two California Highway Patrol motorcycle cops.
They recently resurrected it as CHiPs '99.

The Top 13 Surprises in CHiPs '99


    1. "Ponch?" Better make that "Paunch."

    2. Unlike most California cops, Ponch and Jon still spend their time helping little old ladies across the street instead of beating the hell out of illegal aliens.

    3. Innovative new Zsa Zsa Cam!

    4. Bold casting of Rodney King as the internal affairs lieutenant.

    5. The guys have to stop the car chase every few minutes to pee.

    6. Guest appearance by Bob Dole as "Louie the Snitch."

    7. Although Ponch & John aren't riding motorcycles anymore, they seem to be wearing a lot more leather.

    8. Less high speed chases and stunts, MORE DONUTS!

    9. Ponch and Jon now *own* Harley Davidson, courtesy of 20 years of skimmed cash from drug busts.

    10. Ponch's gut now able to shift gears all by itself.

    11. After hours, Ponch and Jon meet up with Dragnet's Joe Friday and Bill Gannon and Adam-12's Jim Reed and Pete Malloy at the local gay bar. "CUFF 'EM, DANNO!"

      and the Number 1 Surprise in CHiPs '99...

    12. When Ponch mounts a hog these days, we're not talkin' motorcycles.



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Selected from 103 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 1, 12 (5th #1) Email
  • Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Chris Gleason, Gaithersburg, MD -- 3
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 4 Email
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI -- 4, 11 Email
  • Sue Prifogle Otte, Rushville, IN -- 5 Email
  • JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA -- 6
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY -- 8, 12 Email
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 9
  • David Kass, Queens, NY -- 9
  • Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 10 Email
  • Ward Bahner, Kansas City, MO -- 12 Email / Website
  • Dave George, Arlington, VA -- 12
  • Fred Hesby, Portland, OR -- 12 Email / Website
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 12
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 12 Email / Website
  • Eric Gemunder, New York, NY -- Topic
  • Gary Smith, Florissant, CO -- Banner Tag
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- Runner Up List Name Email
  • Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT -- Runner Up List Name Email
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
  • The Village People, New York, NY -- Ambience

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