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Document Contains Artificial Watermark
November 23, 1998
The Top 14 Signs Your Best Friend is Linda Tripp
- Smiles knowingly when the mall saleswoman recommends an underwire bra.
- Like clockwork, every 45 minutes she has to "take a leak."
- Last night's "Big Meat Pizza" phone order is tonight's lead story for Dan Rather.
- The second you stopped your affair with the President, she and your Mallowmars were gone.
- Your unsuccessful attempt to rip her wig off has pretty much shot down your "Dennis Franz in disguise" theory.
- Asks "Does this tape recorder make my butt look big?"
- Homely? Check. Washington insider? Check. Attorney General? Nope.
- Your bumper sticker reads: "My other friend is also a backstabbing bitch."
- All she wants for Christmas? "Memorex, baby, lotsa Memorex."
- That new "boyfriend" she brings along to lunch looks suspiciously like Kenneth Starr in a fake mustache and sombrero.
- She's smiling in your face. All the time she wanna take your place.
- When you exit her apartment, suited men wearing sunglasses mutter into their sleeves, "Elephant Girl has left the building."
- She's not just *your* best friend; she's *man's* best friend.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Best Friend is Linda Tripp...
- Diet Pepsi spews from her nose every time you say, "Quit bugging me."
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Selected from 83 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 1 (6th #1) Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 3
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 4 Email / Website
- Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA -- 5
- Chris Gleason, Gaithersburg, MD -- 6
- Gene Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT -- 7
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 8 Email
- R.M. Weiner, Somerville, MA -- 9 Email
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 10 Email / Website
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 11
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- Jennifer Ford, Fort Wayne, IN -- 13 Email / Website
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 14 Email
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic Email
- Kris Kettner, Fond du Lac, WI -- Banner Tag Email / Website
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Was (Not Was), Detroit, MI -- Ambience
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