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If it's out there, it's in here.
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November 25, 2002
The Top 16 Things You'll Never Hear James Bond Say
- "Sorry, M, but doesn't that plan sound a wee bit dangerous?"
- "I'm going to stop you and your diabolical organization, Dr. Fang. I'll be back in four months with a United Nations resolution... and you'd darn well better comply!"
- "Vodka martini. Shake it, stir it, whatever... I don't give a rat's ass."
- "Yes, I have a license to kill -- kill with kindness!"
- "I READ the damn manual, Q. Nowhere did it say 'NOT FOR ANAL USE.' Now shut up and help me!"
- "I'm resourceful enough, I'm sneaky enough, and doggone it, women like me."
- "Oh, for chrissakes, skip the details of your evil plan and just freakin' kill me already."
- "C'mon in, but we gotta be real quiet 'cause Mom's a light sleeper and the trailer is pretty small."
- "Careful -- the plate is very hot."
- "Shaken, not stirred? Ask your doctor if a free trial of Viagra is right for you."
- "Leave me alone, Miss Megabreasts -- can't you see I'm watching 'Bob the Builder'?"
- "Pssst! Should I hit or stay on 17?"
- "...shaken, not stirred. Oh! And give me one of those little paper umbrellas, too!!"
- "It's a sophisticated microfiber-based wearable computer that gathers telemetry about my health and location and keeps me in constant communication with M. It only *looks* like a bra."
- "Does this tuxedo come in periwinkle?"
and the Number 1 Thing You'll Never Hear James Bond Say...
- "I've blown up your lair and foiled your evil plot. Now I will humiliate you by desecrating your pet goat with my seed."
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Selected from 137 submissions from 49 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Chris Urich, Herkimer, NY -- 1 (7th #1)
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 2
- Dave Juurlink, Toronto, Canada -- 2
- Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 3
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 4, 12
- Tom Louderback, Boston, MA -- 5 Email
- Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA -- 6
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA -- 7
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 8
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 9 Email
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 10 Email
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 10 Email / Website
- Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 10 Email
- Whit Watson, West Hartford, CT -- 10
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 11 Email / Website
- Mike Levy, Los Angeles, CA -- 13
- Curtis Matthews, Kennesaw, GA -- 14, 15 Email
- Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- 16 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
- Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- Banner Tag Email / Website
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Chick Corea, Chelsea, MA -- Ambience (explanation)
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