We miss you, John L.
December 8, 1998
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Guess it's time to roll out the ol' holiday lists again.
This may be the first, but it definitely won't be the last.
The Top 14 Things Overheard In Santa's Toyshop
- "Y'know, this new Crying Game Barbie just doesn't seem to be very popular."
- "Hey, this is a piece of cake compared to some of the gigs I've had -- cookies for Keebler, clothes for Kathie Lee, shoes for Nike..."
- "I don't care what Santa says, these 'Tickle Me Tripp' dolls are downright frightening!"
- "Just toss that broken toy in the barrel marked 'Non-Christians.'"
- "I'll build toys for the fat bastard, but shaving his back hair is where I draw the line."
- "Santa, we already make dolls that talk, walk, wet, cry, whatever... now you want one blows cigar smoke out of its *what*??"
- "Please, Mrs. Claus, those batteries are for the children's toys!!"
- "Hey, *you* try building a Playstation with nothing but antique Victorian woodcarving tools, chubbo!!"
- "I don't care who the hell he is -- the old geezer pulls that 'checking it twice' thing again, I'm suing for sexual harassment!"
- "Alright, which of you smartasses put the weed in the EZ Bake Oven brownie mix?!"
- "OK, The Big Guy says no female elves on the Washington run this year -- it's a height thing."
- "Even if you did see it in the Times, we don't make a 'Poke Your Eye Out Stick.'"
- "Furby, schmurby -- Just paint the Tickle-Me-Elmos and the little brats will never know the difference."
and the Number 1 Thing Overheard In Santa's Toyshop...
- "Woo-hoo! C'mon, guys -- it's time to put the finishing touches on the dresses for the Monica Lewinsky dolls!!"
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Selected from 127 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 1 (8th #1) Email
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 2
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA -- 3
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 4
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 5, Runner Up list name Email
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 6 Email
- LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA -- 7 Hall of Famer
- JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA -- 8
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 9
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC -- 10 Email
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 11 Email
- Rich Taylor, Arlington, VA -- 12 Email
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 13 Email / Website
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 14 Email
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- Honorable Mention list name Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Topic Email
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- John Lennon, Liverpool, England -- Ambience
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