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In full cooperation with the UN Inspection team.
December 9, 1998
The Top 14 Signs You're Caught Up in the Holiday Shopping Frenzy
- Before stepping out of your car, you put in a mouthpiece, slip on protective goggles, and tape your ankles.
- You've somehow convinced yourself that "Visa burn" entitles you to park in handicapped spaces.
- You call the kids to dinner and hear their muffled screams coming from boxes you wrapped that afternoon.
- At 95% off, you don't care if that Acme Iron Lung works or not -- your kids are going to use it and appreciate it!
- Sure, the sign says "1 Furby per customer", but they're probably not doing body cavity searches.
- The bank has replaced your Platinum Visa with a one-of-a-kind Plutonium Visa.
- On any given day, you have more plastic on you than Anna Nicole Smith and Pamela Anderson Lee combined.
- In an effort to please your 5 year old, you trade your 2 year old for a Furby.
- Upon awakening on the sofa, you discover 10 beer empties, 5 Cheetoh bags, and an answering machine message thanking you for your order of 100 Dale Earnhardt Hummel Figures from QVC.
- The producer of "American Gladiators" calls after seeing you fight for the last Furby on CNN.
- Just too busy shopping to fact-check your NY Times article.
- Currently spending more time at "Amazon.com" than at "AmazonWomen.com"
- Your MasterCard bill arrives on a Zip disk.
and the Number 1 Sign You're Caught Up in the Holiday Shopping Frenzy...
- You hike up your skirt in front of the Toys 'R' Us manager, and in a throaty moan utter, "Wanna trade Furbies?"
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Selected from 111 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 1 (25th #1) Email / Hall of Famer
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 2 Email
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 3
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 4 Email / Hall of Famer
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 6 Email / Website
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 7 Hall of Famer
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 8, 14 Email
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN -- 9 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- Rich Taylor, Arlington, VA -- 10 Email
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 11 Email
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA -- 12
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 13 Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email
- Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- The Artist, Minneapolis, MN -- Ambience
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