Good afternoon, shoppers.
December 22, 1998
CELEBRITY WEEK, DAY 6
Today's celebrity week list was compiled
by comedian and TV personality, Brian Copeland.
The Top 15 *Other* Signs Santa Claus is Actually a Woman
- Santa remembers it *is* Christmas. 'Nuf said.
- Reads children's letters in office instead of in the bathroom.
- Never explains what exactly you did to deserve that coal in your stocking; if you have to ask, maybe that's the problem!
- Employs little people in a sweatshop and co-hosts TV talk show, "Regis and Santa Lee."
- Despite the closet full of red coats with big black belts, *still* insists she has nothing to wear on Christmas Eve.
- "Mrs. Claus" wears work boots, has a crew cut, and drives a '68 El Camino.
- A man simply would not care if you were naughty or nice.
- Actually seems to shake like TWO bowls full of jelly.
- Bowl full of jelly, my ass. It's water retention.
- Constantly whining about "equality" until it's time to clean out the reindeer stalls.
- Matching shoes and belt? Only a woman would accessorize a pantsuit like that!
- No guy would ever name his animals Dancer and Prancer.
- Santa never, ever observed peeing off of rooftops.
- The North Pole Blockbuster's been out of "The Horse Whisperer" for weeks.
and the Number 1 *Other* Sign Santa Claus is Actually a Woman...
- With the way they build chimneys these days you'd HAVE to be Calista friggin' Flockhart just to get in!
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
|
Selected from 113 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 1 (8th #1) Email
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 2
- Ann Bartow, Dayton, OH -- 3
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 3 Email / Hall of Famer
- Ken Shinodo, Bend, OR -- 4, 8
- Lisa Oliver, London, England -- 5 Email
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 5 Email
- Shari Fisch, Jerusalem, Israel -- 5, 15
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 6, 11
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 7 Email
- Paul Paternoster, Los Altos Hills, CA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA -- 8 Email
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 13
- Kate McClare, Ft. Lauderdale, FL -- 13
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 14 Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Runner Up list name Email
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA -- Topic
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Brian Copeland, San Francisco, CA -- Guest Moderator
- RuPaul, New York, NY -- Ambience
|
