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Believe it! It's NOT butter!
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February 24, 2004
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Continuing our 10th anniversary celebration...
Over the last decade, we've published somewhere
around 2000 lists for the main Top 5 List newsletter
and/or Web site. On the average, we receive about
100-125 submissions from our writers for each list.
That comes out to pretty close to a quarter of a
MILLION list submissions we've looked at so far.
Of course, during that time it was inevitable
that a few of the submissions would be misplaced
and would end up separated from their topics.
Here are a few scattered ones we happened upon last
week while cleaning out the TopFive break room...
The Top 16 List Submissions
Found Behind the TopFive Refrigerator
- "Don't look now, but Justin Timberlake's dancing with Oprah."
- "I guess I'll have the macarena and cheese."
- Kucinich Halts Campaign After Using Word "Earthling" Five Times During Debate
- In your haste to marry Britney you forgot to get your receipt from Satan -- so *now* you're screwed.
- "Come back to bed Charlize; the beer steward will take care of that."
- Veni Vidi Vedgie ("I came. I saw. I yanked up your underpants.")
- fucsimile -- an indirect comparison used to describe a sexual conquest (e.g. "She rode me like a bucking bronco!")
- Yoko Bono
- Benjamin Franklin's Electric Trapdoor Long-johns: "They're Revolution-airy!"
- "Massive government conspiracy that dovetails with superhuman AI computers and killer bees? Alien embryos? Abducted sisters? The Smoking Man? His mother? Hey! Why don't we just tell them Mulder O.D.'d on Foghat and bong water?"
- Col. Mustard with the anthrax in the Jacuzzi.
- Who'd have ever thought that mixing chainsaws, a tightrope and a half-dozen Long Island iced teas wasn't a good idea?
- "Have you never been mellow?" -- Newton-John 3:16
- Two: One to hold Benigni down and the other to insert the Oscar.
- "You want vermouth?! You can't handle vermouth!!"
and the Number 1 List Submission Found Behind the TopFive Refrigerator...
- None have your smooth and silken feel,
None have your sinuous appeal.
On bended knee do I appeal:
Will you love me, moray eel?
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Our ClubTop5 members get to see the runner up
entries for this list!
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Selected from 106 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 1 (13th #1) Website
- Dave Juurlink, Toronto, Canada -- 2, 14, 16 (Hat Trick!)
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 3, 12 Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 4 Hall of Famer
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 5
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 6
- Gene Dieden, New Haven, CT -- 7
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 8
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 10, 11
- Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- 13 Website / Hall of Famer
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 15 Website / Hall of Famer
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- Topic
- Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA -- Banner Tag
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- RU list name Hall of Famer
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- Honorable Mention list name
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- J. Geils Band, Boston, MA -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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