The Top 5 Least-Likely Phrases in Marital Expectations Contracts

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February 28, 2006

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

A 33-year-old Iowa man is facing charges that
he tried to kidnap his own wife. Among the pieces
of evidence turned in by his wife is a lengthy contract
detailing the type of behavior he expected from her.
And I mean, *really* detailing it.

The Top 5 Least-Likely Phrases
in Marital Expectations Contracts

"Immediately before I fall asleep or when I'm in a rush to go out somewhere, you are allowed to tell me one and only one pointless long-winded story that goes nowhere and doesn't end."
"In the event that you discover me engaged in extramarital sexual relations, your options are limited to (A) joining in, and/or (B) serving hors d'oeuvres."
"You will keep my beer hat refueled while I'm watching 'Masterpiece Theatre.'"
"On Sundays, husband is required to mow the lawn, fix electrical problems and grill meat; wife is required to spoon with husband while he watches 'Desperate Housewives.'"
and the Number 1 Least-Likely Phrase in a Marital Expectations Contract...
"Any failure to daily carve a figure of me from cheese shall be punished by requiring that you carve a figure of me from cheese. I love cheese!"

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Selected from 93 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

Brad Hamer, Austin, TX -- 1 (2nd #1)
Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 2
Ian Dauphinee, Calgary, AB, Canada -- 3
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4 Hall of Famer
Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX -- 5 Website
David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- Topic Website / Hall of Famer
Terry Ramsdell, Ann Arbor, MI -- Banner Tag
Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
Bob Dylan, Duluth, MN -- Ambience (explanation)




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