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TopFive.com
More fun than spying on your older sister's slumber party!
March 17, 2004


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

Entertainment Weekly recently judged actor/comedian
Chris Rock to be "the funniest man in America."

If you're sitting there wondering why YOU weren't chosen,
we've compiled this list to help them understand....


The Top 5 Signs You're NOT the Funniest Person in America


    1. The trick boutonniere on your lapel is connected to your urinary catheter.

    2. Your funniest bit involves snarky responses to a cease-and-desist letter from Worldwide Pants, but your attorney won't let you post it on your lame-ass Web site.

    3. Your "watch me pull a baby out of this vagina" joke is just creepy.

    4. Your new WB sitcom pilot was responsible for the first-ever Laugh Tracks Union strike.

      and the Number 1 Sign You're NOT the Funniest Person in America...

    5. Your "homage to Gallagher" involves a huge mallet and live puppies.

Our ClubTop5 members get to see the entire 15-item list!



Selected from 102 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 1 (21st #1) Website
  • Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 2
  • Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 3 Website
  • Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 4
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 5
  • Rick Welshans, Easton, MD -- Topic
  • Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- Runner Up list name Website
  • Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- Honorable Mention list name Website
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Henry Rollins, Washington, D.C. -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb
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