The Top 5 Signs Your Mom Is Actually Your Dad

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Secure the future of online humor -- vote Yes on Issue TopFive.

April 3, 2006

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

An Arizona mother charged with abducting
her two children was accused of posing as
a man while on the run, and authorities
say the heavyset woman with cropped hair
and a slight mustache even went as far
as to have the kids call her "Daddy."

We've decided to flex our comedic muscles and
take a look at things from the opposite angle,
using an inverted humor prism to ascertain...

Okay, I screwed up and worded the topic backwards. Sue me!

The Top 5 Signs Your Mom Is Actually Your Dad

The only monthly visitor she ever has is a $50 stripper.
Her purse perfectly matches her shoes. But at the same time, her five-o'clock shadow perfectly matches her mono-brow.
Refuses to watch "Desperate Housewives" because "those broads get on my nerves."
Caitlyn's mom sells Mary Kay Cosmetics. Your mom sells Larry's Bait 'n' Tackle.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Mom Is Actually Your Dad...
When you run to her and excitedly announce that you just starting bleeding "down there," she shudders and hands you a box of Band-Aids.

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Selected from 102 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 1 (45th #1) Website / Hall of Famer
Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 2, 3 (Hat trick!)
Curtis Stoddard, Milwaukie, OR -- 4
Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 5 Hall of Famer
Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- Topic Website / Hall of Famer
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Banner Tag Hall of Famer
Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
Cass McCombs, Baltimore, MD -- Ambience (explanation)




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