The Top 5 Things Blocking You From Becoming the Next Pope

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April 11, 2005

The Top 5 Things Blocking You
From Becoming the Next Pope

Your little habit of referring to the Eucharist as "nizzachos and pimp juice from the Notorious G.O.D."
You can't make the sign of the cross without grabbing your genitals and moonwalking.
Okay, you were starving, but you didn't have to eat *that* grilled cheese sandwich.
Irritable bowel syndrome and a $20,000 white robe are not exactly a match made in heaven.
and the Number 1 Thing Blocking You From Becoming the Next Pope...
Because driving the popemobile would mean having to give up your pussymobile, man!

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Selected from 179 submissions from 63 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

John H. Spencer, San Carlos, CA -- 1 (4th #1)
Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- 2
Brandon Muller, Las Vegas, NV -- 3
Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA -- 4
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 5 Website
Matt Kall, Cleveland Heights, OH -- Topic
Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
Stone Temple Pilots, San Diego, CA -- Ambience (explanation)




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