The Top 5 Stories in the Country-Western Bible (Part I)

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Shout-out to Debra T. in New Haven!

April 15, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

The New York Times reports that Evangelist Pat Robertson
says he'll be introducing "cooler" versions of the Bible,
in order to hook people who normally wouldn't be interested.
Among the versions planned are Hip-Hop and Country-Western Bibles,
the ad campaign will feature MC Hammer (*somebody* will lose
their job over that one) and Charlie Daniels, among others.

The Top 5 Stories in the Country-Western Bible
(Part I)

Moses leads a mess o' kinfolk through a sea of red necks.
Jesus turned the water into Coors Light... and nobody noticed!
"Jesus did moan and wail and gnash his teeth for he knew not the steps to the Sandal-Scootin' Boogie."
"...and the burning bush his wife showed to Moses turned out to be naught but an infection of yeast."
and the Number 1 Story in the Country-Western Bible...

"...and on the seventh day, God created JET POWERED FUNNY CAR RACES AT THE COLISEUM!!! SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!"

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Selected from 121 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- 2, Runner Up list name
Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 2, Topic
Jon Litfin, Columbus, OH -- 3
Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 4
Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL -- 5
Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
George Harrison, Liverpool, England -- Ambience




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