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TopFive.com
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July 16, 2004


~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~

While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used
a male-enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his
nether-region and pleasured himself, according to
state officials in a petition to remove the jurist.
According to the complaint, the judge was caught in the
act by a clerk, trial witnesses and his court reporter.

Don't believe me? Read all about it!

But what possible reasons could someone
have for indulging in a little lightsaber
practice with Captain Solo in COURT?


The Top 5 Reasons for Masturbating in Court
(Part I)


    1. Your mom always catches you when you do it at home.

    2. You're out of hair gel, and it's Court TV day today.

    3. Auditioning for a post-bench gig as "Judge Whopper" in Vivid Video's "The Peep-Hole's Court."

    4. You're turned on by the defendant's teasing game: Some days Courtney Love shows up, some days she doesn't.

      and the Number 1 Reason for Masturbating in Court...

    5. Damn you, Tyne Daly, you saucy minx!

Our ClubTop5 members get to see the entire 14-item list!




Selected from 140 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Brad Wilkerson, Mesa, AZ -- 1 (2nd #1)
  • Christa Grunewald, Leonardville, KS -- 1 (2nd #1)
  • Ian Dauphinee, Calgary, AB, Canada -- 2
  • Stephanie Shiner Thompson, Brainerd, MN -- 2
  • Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 3 Website
  • Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA -- 4
  • Barbara McMullen, Ann Arbor, MI -- 5
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 5
  • About a dozen people -- Topic
  • Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- Banner Tag
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Hall of Famer
  • Danny Gallagher, Tyler, TX -- HM list name Website
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Joni Mitchell, Ft. McLeod, AB, Canada -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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