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TopFive.com
Keep out of reach of children.
August 25, 1997


The Top 5 Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines
(Part I)


    1. "His flatulence reared up like a proud stallion."

    2. "'Miss Savannah, is there room for both of us in that hoop skirt?' Chandler mocked with a slight bow and a sweep of his top hat."

    3. "Within minutes of their meeting, Representatives Beth (D-Florida) and Eric (R-Montana) lumbered into the bedroom where soon the unmistakable sounds of wet, naked bodies engaged in sexual congress were heard."

    4. "He smelled of pork. Rotting pork, in fact -- and lots of it."

      and the Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Opening Line...

    5. "Omaha Beach, 0800 Hours: Reinforcements from 2nd Panzer Korps arrive, their well-muscled young torsos glistening with man-dew."



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Selected from 104 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

    • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 1, Topic (9th #1) Email
    • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA -- 2
    • Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR -- 3 Email / Website
    • Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 4 Email
    • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA -- 5 Email
    • David Hoffmann, Fort Worth, TX -- Banner Tag
    • Fleetwood Mac, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience

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