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IMPORTANT: Your electric bill is enclosed.
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September 13, 2004
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Some topics are much more important than others.
This particular one concerns no less than
the national security of all Americans.
Don't thank us, folks -- we're just doing our patriotic duty.
The Top 5 Signs the Department of Homeland Security Is Getting Outdated Information
- We go to Orange Alert when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars.
- Recently received video claiming responsibility for the killing of the radio star.
- Tom Ridge keeps trying to TiVo the new "Friends" season.
- Intelligence shows terrorist Fred bin Flintstone is planning to hijack a pterodactyl and fly it over key bowling alleys.
and the Number 1 Sign the Department of Homeland Security Is Getting Outdated Information...
- "Be on the lookout for Egyptian terror leader Hassim el-Rashid Imhotep, a.k.a. Birdie Eye Leaf Leaf Squiggle Birdie Kneeling-Guy Bent-Stick Lion Squiggle."
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Our ClubTop5 members get to see the entire
20-item list!
Selected from 98 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 1, HM list name (22nd #1)
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 2, Banner Tag
- Danny Gallagher, Tyler, TX -- 2 Website
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 4 Website
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 5 Website
- Eric Rayford, whereabouts unknown -- Topic
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- RU list name Website / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Lurkers, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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© Copyright 1994-2008. All rights reserved.
TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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