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TopFive.com
Meanwhile back at the ranch...
October 22, 1997


The Top 5 Signs the Umpire Is Losing It


    1. Chest protector made from giant wheel of smoked Gouda.

    2. Uses a leaf blower to clean home plate.

    3. Shows up in a tube top, hot pants and platform shoes and demands to be referred to as "Umpy Spice."

    4. Has begun to spit on his *own* face.

      and the Number 1 Sign the Umpire Is Losing It...

    5. After putting on mask, asks each batter, "Have the lambs stopped crying, Clarise?"



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Selected from 104 submissions from 37 contributors.

Today's Top Five List authors were:

    • Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA -- 1, 5 (5th #1)
    • Jay Allen, Long Beach, CA -- 2
    • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA -- 3
    • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 4
    • Betsy Edgerton, Marysville, WA -- Topic
    • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag
    • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor
    • The Outfield, whereabouts unimportant -- Ambience

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