5. Wife is getting tired of you introducing her as "my trusty sidekick."

4. Most of your sick days are due to "the effects of the earth's yellow sun."

3. Refusing to admit you're drunk, you vow revenge on the evil "Flaccidus" for your inability to "perform."

2. Your secret identity keeps drinking all the beer.

   and the Number 1 Sign You Read Too Many Comic Books...

1. Your attempts at becoming "Danger Cloud" are proving hard on the underwear.

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