The Top 16 Signs You're Not Cut Out to Be a Figure Skater

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Featuring choreography by Las Ketchup!

November 22, 2002

The Top 5 Signs You're Not Cut Out to Be a Figure Skater

Even the Zamboni driver gets more points for artistic merit than you do.
Your distinctive "Technicolor Spin" move only works on a full stomach.
Judges just aren't impressed with your eight "figure ones."
The only time you've ever done an "axel" was backstage at a Guns N' Roses concert.
and the Number 1 Sign You're Not Cut Out to Be a Figure Skater...
Upon overhearing someone in the locker room exclaim he "nailed his salchow," you confess that you once buggered a sheep.

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Selected from 375 submissions from 125 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 1 (Woohoo!)

Andy Grosser, Boston, MA -- 2

Andy Krakowski, Alexandria, VA -- 2

Beth Shea, Philadelphia PA -- 3

Josh Sinnett, Bellingham, WA -- 3

Mark Wright, Fresno, CA -- 3

Larry Colwell, Elk Grove Village, IL -- 4

Pam Wylder, Bloomington, IL -- 5

Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic, Banner Tag Email

Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer

Jethro Tull, Blackpool, England -- Ambience (explanation)




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