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December 6, 1999

The Top 5 Signs Your Father Is a Pimp

  1. You're the only Cub Scout whose Pinewood Derby car has ocelot seat covers.

  2. His most common threat: "Don't make me slap you -- this is my day off!"

  3. Like Ward Cleaver, carries a pipe. Unlike Ward Cleaver, shares his pipe with your aunts.

  4. Enough about the stable already, where's the damn pony?

    and the Number 1 Sign Your Father Is a Pimp...

  5. Every Christmas and birthday present: Another big-ass medallion.





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Selected from 110 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Jesse Weiss, St. Paul, MN -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
  • Tim McKemy, Chandler, AZ -- 2 Email
  • Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 3 Email
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 4 Email
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 5 Email
  • Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
  • Gloria Monti, New York, NY -- Banner Tag Email
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- List moderator
  • Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Eugene, OR -- Ambience

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