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TopFive.com
Hand-crafted from the finest Brazilian mahogany.
December 18, 2002


The Top 5 Signs Santa Is Sick of Christmas
(Part I)


    1. New policy this year: Only strippers allowed on his lap.

    2. Hey, kid -- them brown lumps in your stocking ain't coal!

    3. On his personal Christmas list: A George Foreman Grill and "The Ultimate Reindeer Cookbook."

    4. He's assigned numbers to all the countries on Earth and is doing the odd ones this year and the even ones next year.

      and the Number 1 Sign Santa is Sick of Christmas...

    5. This year's #1 stocking stuffers: Elf heads and Rudolph jerky.



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Selected from 119 submissions from 45 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 1, 3 (15th #1) Email
  • Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 1 (4th #1)
  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 1 (11th #1) Email
  • John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 1 (7th #1) Email / Website
  • Chuck Sawyer, Rochester, NY -- 1 (2nd #1)
  • Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 2
  • Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 4 Email
  • Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 4 Email / Website
  • Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 4
  • Carolyn Rosser, Washington, DC -- 5
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Topic
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • The Bee Gees, Brisbane, Australia -- Ambience   (explanation)

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