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Hey, where the hell's my figgy pudding?
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December 20, 2002
The Top 5 Homeland Security Christmas Cards
- Two lists we seek this Christmas Day:
One Naughty and one Nice.
So hand them over now, Fat Boy --
we won't ask you twice.
- May your holiday season be filled with all the joys and pleasures you find dear. Which, according to your web-surfing history, includes Honduran cigars, Coca Cola collectibles, naked Asian girls and vibrating butt-plugs.
- In the meadow, we will build a snowman.
We'll pretend his skin and beard are brown.
We'll say, "You al Qaeda?" He'll say, "No, man!"
But just in case, we'll haul his ass downtown.
- We see you when you're sleeping.
We know when you're awake.
We like you in that nightie but
we know those boobs are fake!
and the Number 1 Homeland Security Christmas Card...
- A child was born on Christmas Day.
Despite the "savior" hype,
we've searched the manger twice 'cause he's
a Middle-Eastern type.
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Selected from 72 submissions from 30 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 1 (50th #1) Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Carolyn Rosser, Washington, DC -- 2
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3 Email / Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 4
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 5
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- Topic Email / Website
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Banner Tag
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- RU list name
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Men Without Hats, Montreal, Canada -- Ambience (explanation)
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