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TopFive.com
The Vespa of Online Humor Sites!
December 30, 2004


The Top 5 Reasons 2005 Is Totally Going to Suck


    1. Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simpson continuing to enjoy stardom, while Lisa Simpson's soulful saxophone skills remain unheralded.

    2. The post office's new "No Pants, No Stamps" policy.

    3. The three new diet fads of 2005: insect smoothies, the Cat Food Diet and Dr. Phil's book "Naked Pictures of Me."

    4. Dick Cheney's starting to smirk and raise his pinky to his mouth whenever someone mentions nuclear warfare.

      and the Number 1 Reason 2005 Is Totally Going to Suck...

    5. The joy of your Christmas-break honeymoon is shortlived as you resume your 3rd-grade teaching duties, now as Mrs. Brown-Doody.

Our ClubTop5 members get to see the entire 20-item list!



Selected from 101 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

  • Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 1 (29th #1) Website
  • Danny Gallagher, Tyler, TX -- 2 Website
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3 Hall of Famer
  • Tom Louderback, Boston, MA -- 4
  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Topic
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- RU list name
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- HM list name Website / Hall of Famer
  • Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • REO Speedwagon, Champaign, IL -- Ambience   (explanation)

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