The Top 17 Signs You're Watching a Bad Romantic Comedy

Plucky Joe Lieberman vows to win the girl, even after she publicly rejects him.
Gandhi goes on a hunger strike and almost dies for the chance to cup nurse Angelina Jolie's breasts.
The song accompanying the big romantic montage is played on kazoo.
As Mary Jane tenderly lowers Spider-Man's mask, tendrils of snot and saliva drip lazily toward the ground.
Ben Stiller catches his pecker in the zipper of the body bag.
After the closing credits, the director leaves the audience to ponder just how a person goes about consummating a marriage with a talking shark.

The scene where the girl falls to pieces was shot at a leper colony.
The hero stands outside his beloved's window and plays "In Your Eyes" full blast on his iPod while holding the ear buds aloft over his head.
Meg Ryan starts moaning and groaning during her meal, but only because her Wendy's chili contains a detached finger.
Clint Eastwood glares at Owen Wilson and mumbles, "I wish I could quit you, punk."
"... starring Tori Spelling and Rob Schneider -- and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver."
It's narrated by Al Gore.
Mel Gibson and Natalie Portman are paired as a lonely bachelor with Tourette's syndrome and the sweet Jewish girl he can't stop insulting.
The tagline: "Necrophilia has never been funnier!"
The apple pie gets jealous when it thinks Jason Biggs is attracted to its best friend, the glazed donut.
"You had me at 'Heil Hitler!'"
and the Number 1 Sign You're Watching a Bad Romantic Comedy...

The title "Hollywood Babes" was promising, but 90 minutes in, it seems like Suri Cruise and Sean Preston Federline are never going to progress beyond drooling over each other.