13. Has been apprehended numerous times in midst of suicide missions involving a fork and an electrical outlet.

12. You sure don't remember a Pokemon toy called "Osamazord."

11. Barbie is bound, gagged and will remain a hostage until you fork over another box of Froot Loops.

10. Christmas list: C4, detonators, a new pair of Nikes.

9. Watches "The 700 Club."

8. Says he doesn't have his homework because the Imperialist dog ate it.

7. Constantly threatening a jihad against his brothers if they don't let him watch SpongeBob SquarePants.

6. Asks if he can join the school's "Chess Cell."

5. He insists on wearing a ski mask when you videotape him learning to ride a two-wheeler.

4. That's the fourth dog this month that has blown up the car it was chasing while the little tyke stood in the yard joyfully firing his rifle into the air.

3. John Ashcroft shows up at your parent-teacher meeting.

2. "Nuclear waste in his diapers" no longer just figure of speech.

   and the Number 1 Sign Your Child May Be a Terrorist...

1. "MAY be a terrorist?" That's a good one, Mr. Single and Childless.

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