15. Everything you own smells like tacos, and your co-workers are starting to ask questions.

14. It's difficult to find a woman willing to dress up as Strom Thurmond.

13. You'd think Tara Lipinski would at least say "Thank You" for the 562-page collage and poems. But nooooooooo...

12. Your fixation with weird gadgets has led you to propose to Carrot Top.

11. Your local TV news has warned women more than once about wearing open-toed shoes after eating garlic.

10. Human Resources has to inform you that "business casual" does not include latex.

9. Thanks to you, a whole generation of Great Pandas have forgotten how to reproduce without Pink Floyd, peanut butter and "Professor Leather."

8. You get visibly aroused every time you hear Skitch Henderson's version of "It's a Grand Old Flag."

7. You're being treated for your foot fetish by Dr. Scholl himself.

6. The restraining order from PETA was inevitable, but now you've been banned from KFC in 32 states.

5. The other astronauts all declined your offer to join the 600 Mile High Club.

4. Eighty-seven garden gnomes on the lawn -- but oh, Baby, does your body hunger for more.

3. The highlight of your ski vacation was putting the snow chains on your tires.

2. Your wife takes your little game too far and gets elected Senator from New York.

   and the Number 1 Sign Your Sexual Fetish is Out of Control...

1. Lots of guys do the bra, panties and stockings thing, but something tells me those tampons are going to require an emergency room visit, dude.

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