15. Only being able to fit one carry-on explosive in the overhead bin.

14. Wish people would call them "Political Mayhem Specialists" like it says on the business cards.

13. Your group life insurance premium goes sky high every time a co-worker blows himself up.

12. Having to show two forms of fake ID when buying bomb-making materials.

11. The way hostages snicker when your partner secretly sets your cell phone to ring "Happy Birthday To You."

10. Hostages who try to play that old "Oh yeah? Well God told ME that you should let me go!" game.

9. Premature interrogation.

8. Just when you're in the zone for your suicide bombing, your friggin' fertilizer allergy kicks in.

7. By the time you've finished triple-frisking the delivery boy, the pizza is cold.

6. Project coordinators who prefer that we strap dynamite to our bodies and blow ourselves up instead of just writing a strongly-worded letter.

5. Those damn "Zesty" ads.

4. None of your terrorist buddies will ride in your car bomb so you can use the HOV lane.

3. Friggin' childproof caps on Anthrax containers.

2. Coach bin Laden always sprays you with spittle during his halftime anti-American rants.

   and the Number 1 Terrorist Pet Peeve...

1. Knowing that when he reads your letter, the new American President will not only mispronounce your name, he'll also say "nuke-U-lar."

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