16. "Hey, halftime only lasts 15 minutes."

15. "You weren't wearing your burqa!!"

14. "Gotta hurry -- Hillary's gonna be home any second!"

13. "I was thinking about baseball, but the game got called on account of rain."

12. "My dog ate my self-control."

11. "Sorry, the hidden web cam in my bow tie was about to run out of batteries."

10. "It's just irrational exuberance." (Alan Greenspan only)

9. "My mind wandered to someone attractive."

8. "Y'know they're ribbed for your pleasure, right? Well, I think I put it on inside-out."

7. "I was hoping I wouldn't still have to pay for the full hour."

6. "THAT was a warning shot."

5. "Look, if you want it to last longer, lose the goat-themed wallpaper."

4. "Woohoo! I win AGAIN! I win AGAIN!"

3. "I wanted to hurry up and get to my favorite part: snuggling!"

2. "But Taco Bell closes in 15 minutes!"

   and the Number 1 Excuse for Premature Ejaculation...

1. "If I could last longer, do you think I'd be dating someone who looks like *you*?"

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