Chester 3:16
February 1, 1999
The Top 13 Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO
- Its clever name? "Whatevercare"
- Staff physicians include Dr. Who, Dr. Kevorkian, and Dr. Demento.
- Anesthesia? Your choices: Whiskey, a bullet to bite on, or a Louisville Slugger to the head.
- Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
- "Chemotherapy" machine looks suspiciously like a tanning bed.
- You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
- "Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?"
- Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers.
- "Take two leeches and call me in the morning."
- No X-ray machine, but each doctor is issued a pair of "X-ray specs."
- Tongue depressers taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
- Covered post-natal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow's doorstep.
and the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO...
- Radiation treatment for cancer patients consists of a carrying a postcard from Chernobyl in your pocket.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 175 submissions from 55 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Ann Bartow, Dayton, OH -- 1 (5th #1)
- Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 2 Email
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 3
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3 Email / Hall of Famer
- Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY -- 3 Email
- Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA -- 3 Email / Hall of Famer
- Boyd Johnson, San Diego, CA -- 4 Email
- Michelle Burke, San Francisco, CA -- 5
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 6 Email
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Vickie Neilson, Carlsbad, CA -- 7 Email
- Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI -- 8 Email
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 9, 13 Email / Website
- Barbara Rush, Tulsa, OK -- 10 Website
- Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 11 Email
- Perry Friedman, Menlo Park, CA -- 12 Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Honorable Mention list na Email
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Topic Email
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Cheap Trick, Chicago, IL -- Ambience
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