15. "I had no idea Alan Keyes was one of Dixie Chicks."

14. "Geez, it looks like a Roman Polanski wet dream in here."

13. "And now, presenting the award for Best Foreign Language Recording, Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker!"

12. "We've got you surrounded! Drop the gun and step away from the podium, Mr. Combs!"

11. "Yes, I used to be Tiffany. Shall I check your coat?"

10. "Coming up next on CBS... 'Who Wants to Marry David Lee Roth?'"

9. "As a physicist I wouldn't have thought it possible, but Mariah just sucked all the talent right out the room."

8. "Kriss! Kross! Vanilla Ice! You guys get over here and clean up this spill!"

7. "Excuse me, Sir Elton -- have you seen Miss O'Donnell's corset?"

6. "Don't touch that glass!! I think it's David Crosby's."

5. "Alright, East Coast rappers and West Coast rappers -- group hug time!!"

4. "Run, Rosie, run! Selleck's here, and he's packing heat!!"

3. "Would the owner of the glasses with the initials 'E.J.' in rhinestones please return to the stage piano to claim them..."

2. "I'm sorry, those two seats are reserved for Ms. Lopez."

   and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at Last Night's Grammy Awards...

1. "Officer, it all started when Britney lifted her blouse and taunted Christina, 'Neener, neener, neener!'"

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