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Back in my day, they called me "Mr. List," ya punk kid.
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February 27, 2002
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
To see part I of this list,
you need to be a member of ClubTop5.
The Top 14 Signs an Action Movie Hero is Over the Hill
(Part II)
- That "quad-barreled pump-action shotgun" of his looks suspiciously like a walker.
- He tries to slide across the hood of his car and gets stuck in the middle.
- His protection from gunfire? A walletful of grandkid photos.
- When he loads up on high-tech weaponry, he asks Q for his senior discount.
- He uses AOL to try to break into the CIA's computer network.
- His deadliest weapon? Voting in every election.
- Nobody's buying his new catch phrase: "I've passed black, tarry stools bigger than you, PUNK!"
- Hides a small emergency knife in his jowls.
- After ripping the villain from the driver's seat and grabbing the wheel of the hovercraft, before he sits down he puts a rubber doughnut on the seat.
- Tommy Lee Jones stars as the naive, wet-behind-the-ears sidekick.
- "Metamucil, stirred. No, stir it more! I can still see little *bits* floating around!"
- Needs a stunt double for his character's big eating-corn-on-the-cob scene.
- "I'll be back -- at 4:00 for the Early Bird Special."
and the Number 1 Sign an Action Movie Hero is Over the Hill...
- "Dammit, Miss Galore, get your hands off me! Can't you see I'm watching Matlock?!?"
Join ClubTop5 to check out the runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 162 submissions from 59 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 1 (8th #1) Email
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 3
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 4
- Chris Urich, Herkimer, NY -- 5
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 6
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA -- 7
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 8 Email
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 9 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 10 Website
- Patrick Kachurek, Dayton, OH -- 11 Email
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 13 Email / Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 14 Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- Banner Tag Website
- Kevin Freels, Walnut Creek, CA -- RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Spiders & Snakes, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.
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