March 5, 2001
The Top 14 Euphemisms for Corporate Layoffs
- Dissing the Gruntled
- Improving the Odds in the Office March Madness Pool
- Fueling Demand for Lottery Tickets and Malt Liquor
- The Corporate Catch-and-Release Program
- Giving You a Shot at Posting Your Very Own Negative-Growth Quarter
- Causing 404s on the Career Server
- Moving 1/3 of Your Workforce to Within a Dead Dog and a Cruel Woman of a Blues Classic
- Giving Bruce Springsteen Something to Sing About
- Issuing Transfers to Pets.com
- H.R. Ruffstuff
- Hiring a Bunch of New People, Only Backwards
- Ass-Harvesting on the Cubicle Farm
- Beaming the Red-Shirted Extras Down to the Evil Monster Planet
and the Number 1 Euphemism for Corporate Layoffs...
- Separating the Wheat From the Wheat That Doesn't Kiss Enough Ass
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 156 submissions from 57 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Mark Schmidt, Paris, France -- 1 (14th #1) Email
- Steven Wilber, Pomeroy, WA -- 2, 4 Email
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 3
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 3 Email / Website
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 5 Email
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 6, 12 Email
- Eric Lipton, Washington, DC -- 7
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 8 Email
- Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 9
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 9 Email
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 9
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 13 Email / Website
- Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 14
- David E. Spiro, Tucson, AZ -- Topic
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- Honorable Mention name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Radiohead, Oxford, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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