March 6, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
According to a book written by a former
Cambridge University researcher, a parrot in
Manhattan can read the mind of its owner.
"But Chris," you say, "How do I know
if MY pet has psychic abilities?"
Fear not! Here's how you can tell...
The Top 13 Signs Your Pet Can Read Your Mind
- You think about having him neutered and the next time you're taking a bath, Rover brings you the toaster.
- They start throwing feces before you even get the typewriters out of their cartons.
- When you fake throwing the ball, he fakes being fooled.
- "Bwawk! Polly wanna new gold cage, or else Polly's telling Larry King about your rubber hose fetish and what you did with that watermelon. Bwawk!"
- Well SOMEONE ordered the cat-size purple silk turban and crystal ball squeaky toy.
- You ask for your slippers. Rover brings you Penthouse.
- He times his litter box usage so that total poop-smell permeation in your apartment occurs at EXACTLY the same moment your date arrives.
- The freakin' ferret *always* blocks your Triple-Word Score move.
- You toss your "Inauguration '93" commemorative Frisbee over by the sunbathing babes, and good ol' Buddy comes back with 2 bikini tops.
- Spot's able to guess 10 times out of 10 that it's Alpo for dinner.
- No matter where you hide the key to the liquor cabinet, by the time you get home from work, Fido's halfway through the peach Schnapps, watching "Beaches," and crying like a baby.
- You get the strange feeling that your cat is ignoring you on a whole *new* level.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Pet Can Read Your Mind...
- The Waco-style armed standoffs that begin an hour before Sparky's trips to the vet.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 126 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!) Email / Website
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 2
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 3 Email
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 4
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 5, HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 6
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 7 Email / Website
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 8
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 9
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 10 Email / Website
- Steven Wilber, Pomeroy, WA -- 10 Email
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 11 Email
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 12
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 13 Email
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- Topic Website
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- Honorable Mention list na Email / Website
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Pet Shop Boys, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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