March 6, 2002
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
We're borrowing today's topic from the Washington Post's
famous
Style Invitational
weekly humor challenge
(some of TopFive's contributors are regulars there, too).
Here's the way it works:
Take a word and change one (and ONLY one) letter --
either add one, remove one, or exchange one for another
letter -- to give the original word a new definition.
The Top 15 Reinvented Words
(Part I)
- philostopher: otherwise-intelligent person who doesn't believe in maps
- humophobia: irrational fear of stand-up comics
- embareassment: a feeling of shame and inadequacy experienced while at a nude beach
- teatotaler: member of Snapple Anonymous
- carbage: trash that accumulates in the back seat of your vehicle
- wrectum: the after-effects of botched hemorrhoid surgery
- avalunche: a sandwich made so tall that it falls over
- banjlo: special banjo with a beautifully round end that is twice the size of a regular banjo's end
- bong-vivant: a particularly social stoner
- scatula: an invaluable utensil for the responsible urban dog-owner
- gasshole: someone who supports drilling in wildlife refuges so he can drive his SUV back and forth to the office
- satisfiction: when she fakes an orgasm
- sofu: the stuff that develops in your butt crack after one has vegged out in front of the TV all day
- trampon: a feminine-hygiene product for promiscuous women
and the Number 1 Reinvented Word...
- negligeence: failing to put on a condom, because DAMN, GIRL -- you look fine in that nighty!
Join ClubTop5 to check out the runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 110 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 1 (33rd #1) Email / Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 2 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 3 Email
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 4 Email / Website
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 5, 7, 9 (Hat trick!) Email / Hall of Famer
- Amanda Paulette, Blacksburg, VA -- 6
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- 8
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 11
- Whit Watson, West Hartford, CT -- 12
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13, HM list name Email
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 14
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 15 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- Topic
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- Topic Email
- Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- Banner Tag
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- Runner Up list name
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Lettermen, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
|
