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March 10, 2000
The Top 14 Signs a Game Show Host is Nuts
- "I remind contestants to please phrase responses in the form of an exclamation used during torture."
- "Your choice is 'D'? WRONG! NO SOUP FOR YOU!!"
- Keeps insisting the bonus round is played in his pants.
- Responds to all the contestants' answers with, "You're one breath closer to dying and have control of the board, Skippy."
- You're not sure why the category "Presidential Trivia" should have the question "WHY IN GOD'S NAME ARE THEY *INSIDE MY HEAD?!!!*"
- Will only ask questions by licking the mike in Morse Code.
- Breaks from the game to waggle his finger at the camera and challenge "that bastard Trebek" to a no-holds-barred cage match.
- Insists you phrase every answer in the form of a sonnet.
- "The imperialist dogs who rule this parody of a contest have proclaimed that you are incorrect."
- "Vanna, will you please tell our guests... HOW THEY'RE GOING TO DIE! ...MWAA-HAA-HAA-HAAA!"
- His "toupee" is actually a heavily-sedated marmoset.
- Every time you answer correctly, he gets a goofy look on his face and starts humping your leg.
- Screams, "It's *them* again!!!" whenever the audience breaks out in applause.
and the Number 1 Sign a Game Show Host is Nuts...
- "And for a million dollars, here's the question: With my genitalia tucked in between my legs like so, could I pass for a woman?"
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 160 submissions from 56 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 1 (17th #1) Email
- Beth Gaynor, Columbus, OH -- 2, 6 Email / Website
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 3, 12
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 4
- Joseph Banks, Greenwich, UK -- 5
- Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- 7 Email / Website
- Ross Brown, Seattle, WA -- 7 Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT -- 7 Email
- Peter Rogers, Louisville, KY -- 8, 10
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 9
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 10, 14 Email
- Chris Walker, Calimesa, CA -- 11 Email / Website
- Craig Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- 12 Website
- Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 13, Topic Email
- Rob Ahnemann, Nacogdoches, TX -- Banner tag
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- List moderator
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Greg Kihn, Baltimore, MD -- Ambience (explanation)
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